Students Disrupt The Edge

DUBLIN - Two student filmmakers, Zoe Fischnaller and Janiec Van Vektan, were escorted out of the Irish Film Institute last night for disrupting the peace. It was reported that Fischnaller spent the entire cocktail hour entertaining Van Vektan by comparing her towering height to U2's guitarist The Edge. Fischnaller stands at a mere 5 feet 7 inches.

"You know, I really didn't understand why she kept giggling behind me. And then I realized she was making fun of my height!" exclaimed disgruntled guitarist, The Edge. "Besides, she was wearing really high heels."

Fischnaller was bare foot.

Bono's Sunglasses Surgically Implanted!

DUBLIN - Last night it was confirmed that the Irish rock band, U2's lead singer, Bono, does in fact have his sunglasses surgically implanted on his head.

He was seen at the Irish Film Institute last night wearing his sunglasses throughout the entire event. Upon excusing himself to use the washroom, he ran into the wall four times, before discovering the door.

He was unavailable for comment after the premiere for he did not return to the cinema. It was believed that due to the extreme darkness of night, he had lost his way.

Quote Du Jour

In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

~T.S. Eliot

Bird Feces Attacks Dubliners

DUBLIN - Young women cried out in disgust as Dublin's bird population attacked with a vengeance. Excrement was their weapon. Blouses were their targets.

"I was just walking along Grafton Street when suddenly I thought I had been hit by a bullet!" explained a terrified Mary Mitchell. "And then I saw it! Bird poo! On my favorite purple cardigan!"

Authorities believe the birds are reacting to Dublin's general distaste towards their species.

"We think they may have increased their fiber intake," reported Garda Officer Patrick O'Flannery. "It happened once before in '67. People just don't care for the birds anymore, and I think they are starting to notice."

Women are not the only targets, though it is widely believed that they are attacked more frequently due to their brightly coloured jumpers.

Dubliners have recently taken to using umbrellas to avoid the bird droppings, which has also been discovered to protect from the rain.

Film Professors Baffled by Use of Movies as Reference

DUBLIN - All the film professors of local universities met today to discuss a graduate student's use of film as a reference in her thesis.

"I just do not understand what film has to do with film theory," exclaimed one muddled professor who wished to remain anonymous.

"Yes," agreed Dr. Doyle, who furrowed his out-of-control brows to show his extensive contemplation on the matter.

"I've never even seen a film!" cried out Dr. O'Sullivan with caffeinated glee.

It was finally decided, after many pots of Lyons tea, that the use of film in a Masters thesis was "completely irrelevant" and "an insult to academia".

The film student in question went into shock, and has since been committed to a local insane asylum for fears that her head might explode from the hate rising within.

Presently her story is being optioned at Miramax. Harvey Weinstein hopes to begin shooting by late August.

Welcome to the CoffeeBreak Revolution!

...Where revolutions can begin and resolve in the 15 minutes it takes to drink a fine cup of joe.

...Where I shall extract all my frustrations, fears, and pleasures through the fine art of press releases.

...Where films can be discussed, photography can be displayed, and hypocrisies laughed at.

Please check in as often as you choose, but due to the high prices of internet cafes, I can not promise frequent entries. Though I'm sure the demand will be high, for my Oscar Wildeian take on life in Dublin will surely capture the hearts of many.

Cheers!